I can tell, you are way clueless, let me give you a cue honey
Pearls, pearls, “bunch of pearls and pearls and pearls, if not the pearl, the clamus and then Mr. long legged, nothing’s new” a mumble about in sick staring at the bed of sheers and dormant corals given by relatives, in which I can’t remember whom.
We have a big lineage, I’m unapologetic to say that it’s hard for me to grasp all their names, we rarely contact each other in a daily basis but we do, love occasional celebrations, that’s where we often have the decent quality together, but it’s not enough, for me, it’s not enough and I’m on my 17th years of living in this wave
Even though we’re not in contact, none of them ever leave, their attention is always on point of how and what I should act for this age, like somehow, I’m an offender to tame with, not a relative to be supported and protected.
For pearl’s sake, I can decide, and I think they don’t want to spoil that
I turned my eyes to gleshy, that’s been disturbed, probably heard his name called “Don’t get me wrong Mr. Long legged fish, I still love you, I’m just confused as to why I am not allowed to go outside or join their event”
I’ve been living here like under surveillance for 20 years, I presume, I can’t even remember when was the first time I’d ever crossed the boundary of our reefed gates.
I bet none, I have no experience from that,
I always ask, “can I play outside the reefs? Play some bubble bees that they’re playing while chasing each other?” and I’ve always got the reply “It’s not the time karina, you don’t have to, you will soon get in there”
You will soon get in there
A false hope, a scripted excuse for me to not ask for more
Why soon? Why not now? What’s the deal?
What’s needed? Is there anything I need? I can swim for sake
They’re fooling me, into this trap forever
If there is no right time lovelies, then why they’re in there? Playing? Are they also under the time system you are referring to?
Who cares about the right time if you want to play, be fun and be yourself?
Is there also a time for laughing? That’s a silly wonder, right?
“Karina? Time to eat” called by dani, my cousin who always look for me
“I don’t want to eat until the event is not ending” I reasoned out, probably the event is not yet starting.
She finally opens the door and swam around my space, “Is there anything that is bothering you rina?” she finally asks, noticing something, at least she paid.
“I’m in sulk, they don’t want me again to come to the event, for countless times eternally, I don’t know when will those ‘soon you will get there’ hopes will ever led me, do you have any idea about that?” I just don’t want to waste my time, sulking on this sacred space of mine.
I remember someone said that your room is your sacred space to stay in, so I have to protect and cleanse it over to feel the presence of serene and comfort, it’s true, and I believe in that.
But in this case, the dirt is not from my space, but from me, my inner voice has something needs to be released and experiment with. I need an outlet.
Even Mr. long legged fish were sick for days, and pearls began to shrink itself, which I don’t know about.
I hate the reactions, they were affected by the moods, it was not my fault, either of them, but I need to tend those roots because it’s from me.
I really need a space, fresh for cleanse
I need to breathe
Well, we’re underwater but no just kidding
I need fresh sets of space to swim around
“You actually can” she said while I patiently wait for her next point
“I can?”
“If you really wanted to, there is a way, there’s always been an opening here in our spaces, you just have to recognize the idea and look for those openings”
“How?”
“Listen, just listen” she stated, the most confusing way I’d ever heard of
“What do you mean listen?”
“I’ll tell you, shh” she instructs while smiling in front of me in the middle of silence
“See? Just kidding” she laughed before proceeding on what she’s referring to “you’re confused as a child even, you always kept your grounds here and kept your bubbles up in the set of worries, rage, and dissatisfactions you have that you can’t see any chances around you, outside that bubble of yours.”
“You’re not the only ones that is locked in here,
All of us are kids in their eyes were treated the same,
Only that, you were the only one who set your eyes on their system and did not do anything you can to reach your desires, you’re settling”
“What I meant ‘do’ is trying”
“Just don’t blame anyone, including you. There’s a way, always been a way if you create one for yourself, be free”
“I can’t emphasize that enough for you karina, don’t be blind please, open your eyes, open your doors, they’re always closed”
In gape of sudden wake, I opened my eyes, swam amidst my ‘so called’ welcome party and thought from what I’d dreamed of, Who’s dani?
A passage from Voice 2: I seek
© 2022 Deinty Woodtales