As a 7-year-old kid, I had the idea of living like a fashionista. I want to be a fashionista with my woozing style but then I wonder on how and what is it like to be a teacher because I had this love and hate relationship with them perhaps, do you think I can be one of them too?
Perhaps being a scientist is not impossible either. We used to describe them as someone who discovered and explored great things around before touching one to create. So, I thought I am one of them too. I am discovering and exploring great things I haven’t and can’t even wandered off before and this was my secret. It’s a little shh.
Perhaps wanting to see Rapunzel in the act and in person or wanting to be the red blood cells for a day, months, and year or even for an era from history. Who doesn’t want to try that? Either way being an actress, director, and a cosplayer are considered too.
Perhaps forensic scientists, detectives, either way being one in the team of Criminal Case Game is a vision to be in. Fingerprints? Phenomenal stories and plot twists? People in the act? Humans are complicated indeed.
Perhaps being in the veil of secret agents? Yes, Charlie’s angels, yes, James bond and yes mission impossible to mission accomplished. You know what I do? I ran behind while everyone else was busy watching my partner’s whim in the background. Look at them, living the world of thrill and risks despite their dark pasts. No regrets. Something about secrecy gets.
Perhaps a human in a white coat? Sometimes I dreamt to be the brain in someone else’s body, so that I know the life and point of view of living inside the body. I’ve seen white blood cells work too from an internet footage microscopic shot. Believe me, they are fighting their whole life for you to recover from pain or flu, wholesome. They are working 24/7 and they are more than 10000x working when you’re wounded. Much underrated.
Perhaps the wonder of dinosaur existence doesn’t hurt too and why skulls always had something to say? Where do those no longer existing and non-existent things go?
Perhaps the awe I had whenever mama could tell what plant it is just by looking at their leaf and then remembering the anime I watched, stories I read involving one character expert in plants. In extending to the point of hunting the rarest, dangerous, and poisonous plants in the world. Did you know? There are plants that eats flesh? And bigger than the human size? Even exudes a trapping breath. They exist, they do and I can’t blame people for relying, they’re fascinated.
So, what will you do if you don’t know and can’t pronounce the term? Call a botanist, maybe they will know something for you.
Perhaps how similar it is to a human, I would be a great psychologist too if I managed to control my sensitive urges to energies and interactions, I won’t mind. Nothing would ever exceed to be someone who wanted to understand, explore and embrace their nature.
Perhaps I could say “Must be an attachment to percentage” Or am I just in thirst to stare at every graph? Perhaps the chance to know the people’s minor and major decisions in general? You know things to be researched and interpreted? Must be the obsession to know every detail that no one should know about. I can tell, I am involved from these big pools and so are you. What do you think?
Perhaps the sense of security to an almost familiarity to words and speaking. I then wonder aside from being raised as bilingual: English, Filipino. Why not more? More chances to hear another self-voice, right? Who knows?
Who knows? Traveling doesn’t have to be physical; it can be mind traveling too. Knowing people, their culture, origin. Thanks to this age, I had access to all cultures around the world just by interacting and being curious. Scarcity is nothing for being curious. Perhaps I’m just a pimp peeking at people’s life, poking at their established and ever evolving culture. It is far from what I’ve been taught to.
I think I will excel in this field as I, a nosey being will wander around their practices and beliefs. I had no fear to this interest, and I think that’s what people usually do to build relationships, a chance to be interested in something they’re unfamiliar with and I am up for this club.
And then I realized, dreams don’t have to be a specific field or profession or career or something purposeful and valuable to people.
But simply living and acting on those dreams is already the purpose.
I can be a fashionista like how I wanted to as a child having that hobby.
I can be a designer.
A crafter
An artist
A writer (wait…I already am.)
A teacher
And yes, creator (as if I’m not!)
And be the expert where I chose to
And I don’t have to be wary of using my language anymore as I can speak multiple languages when I want to.
HEY! I can be what and who I wanted to be. No one assured me that but me.
Sometimes I see nonhuman living things talking with me as if suddenly understanding my dog’s language and hearing the bird chats clearly as if they’re the book I’m reading.
Sometimes I see the plants smile whenever I stared up the clouds to ease my loneliness.
Sometimes I see myself to be the hero but other times I prefer and embraced the gift of being villainy within the story. It feels more humane, and I learned to love them in some ways.
Sometimes I see myself as a mermaid when nobody is acknowledging my presence.
Sometimes I just want to be a pirate, so I won’t going to be worried about how I make others feel because I am free.
Sometimes I dreamed of having a white horse, but I know dead foot that I love my dogs so instead I would wish my dogs to talk to me even when we aren’t together.
Sometimes I dreamed to be a popstar, singer, or a performer on stage to know what is it like to be seen and be acknowledged. To be paid attention to for every detail, it’s a note to take by someone else. Someone who paid clear attention to me.
Sometimes I dreamed to be a vampire so that I won’t ever be worried if someone would question and comment about the weirdness and oddity I exude.
Sometimes I dreamed to be a magician. What is it like to live on the other side and be creative on this side at the same time.
Sometimes I dreamed to be a different person. Bet my life would be different too.
And sometimes I dreamed of reading the minds of those people dear to me
But I hope someday, they will consider me, and they will see me as who I am.
I hope they stop leaving me in the cold and stopped blaming me for it
I dream, I dream that I am the person that can talk to anything that cannot talk to humans because with them, I will be safe.