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Vanity

I don't know how to express my deep adoration for my hair, how they wave and how much they lift my lacking features, be perfect like no other, a tattoo with my name you cannot find in others. 

How they confide with every face I accidentally wore and pulled off. She painted them with the will and waviness of hello, from minimal alterations, each face was born, each are too much to fit. 

I am expressive, animated to be unnoticed, every show I portray and produce are controversies. 

I feel free more than ever despite my past shames and rejections for embracing this natural instinct. 

I was called, one swipe of red, I fierce, matured more than ever, flipping the soft honey childlike expression I live with. 

Seductress untamed in the ghost of a child, underneath her youthful whispers. 

I don't know what browns, nudes and orange faces will show to meet with, but I am certain that I glow with peaches and pinks, highlighting my beauty as a flower. 

If I knew that having this soft look would bring off the impression of youth and innocence, I would’ve just brushed my facial expressions further. 

The more I use and run free with them, the more I fall deeper, enchanted to show it off. 

Don't hold back. 

Every minimal change, I introduce a lot 

Before, I thought it was silly, so I hid it out, tone them down further. Do I look stupid for wearing them out once again? 

Of course not, not anymore. 

Contrary to what they see, I don't use softness that much, I'm just good at engines and volumes. 

Every minimal change I do is too much. 

I am exaggerated, animated, unusual, erratic, bold, chaotic, rainbow, vibrant, vibration with deep rage. 

I even wore the loudest laughter and loose smile to fit one, it's an instinct. COMPLEX is my middle name 

Everything I do, I do it too much with passion and lust. 

Don't be fooled with a coin if it's a frequency spectrum 

I am not being questioned “Really? I thought you are—” for nothing, it's not just a color, its colors in one. 

It's because I am well off all well so loud that it disturbs them that much. 

I have strong tendencies in expressions because I know whether they’d be inspired or be insecure from it, I still embrace it in full exaggeration. 

Making me believe that my creators are with intent to create me this small for fearing I might dominate a collective dangerous troupe of vibrance. 

This is already too much to bear for others, what more to add a bit size for my littleness right? 

I hold me down low too much for fear of burdening others, so much deeming the instinctive light, not anymore. 

I was ashamed and I believed and listened, so I toned them down, no problem
but not anymore 
It's a problem and that's it, we are done. 

Posted on @deintywoodtales (dada on tumblr)
Deinty Woodtales © Amanda A.M, 2023